I had a dream I was a rock star last year. Like a daydreaming-type dream, not a subconscious reality. So I went out and bought a guitar, then booked a meeting with record companies all across the country. All the deals fell through, they thought I was horrible. I thought I might keep practicing and eventually get good enough to try again, when I realized I had put the cart before the horse. What I SHOULD have done was sit in on other musicians live performances and heckle them into an emotional state of torment, that way competition for a record deal would drop drastically! Then I realized that no matter how horribly I treated other people, self esteem is not a comparative quality… making them feel worse wasn’t going to make me feel any better. Not ONLY did I refrain from treating other people badly, I had a Snickers© candy bar! That made me feel SO much better about myself! Almost as much as I did before I took my sleeplessness vow.
But now I’m fat. Thanks a lot, Snickers©. Thanks for your fat.
